is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize