apparently the secret to your success is patron
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
