You can't special order awesome
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
