I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
