Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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