Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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