I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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