in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
