I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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