she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
