Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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