I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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