I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
