You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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