going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
