Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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