the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
