Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
