Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You're my little dorito
youre lurking in front of me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
