My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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