So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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