You just made me feel so damn special
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
