what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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