Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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