I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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