he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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