how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
its not stalking. its research.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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