I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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