I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
