I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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