Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
