its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
