Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
