he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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