he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
