To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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