Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I woke up under a house in Key West
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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