Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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