I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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