3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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