Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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