It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
