Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
