Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
