but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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