so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
