can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
