FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
