OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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