I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
