Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
