The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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